Aug 11 (Day 16)

Today I decided to try having my food (for lack of a better word) more like a meal. In other words, I would eat my jello and drink my 1/3 c. cranberry juice faster. The aim is to prepare myself for advancing my diet. I had the cranberry juice for "breakfast" (approx 20 min) and 1/2 cup jello for "lunch" (approx 20 min). About 2:00 I went to my parent's house to visit my sister and her family. While there, I had 2 bouts of diarrhea. This was good news because it verified to me that my bowels are working OK. I actually felt well most of the time I was there and thought, hmmmm....I wonder if I could just eat a bite of banana....Maybe I'm OK.." I decided I should stick with the plan so I stopped at Trader Joe's to pick up some chicken broth for "dinner". I poured my 1/2 cup into a little bowl so it would feel like a meal. I was excited because I thought I was going to be able to eat "normal". I had about 5 t. (about 1/3 of the bowl)and couldn't drink any more. I felt sick and overly full. I could have been because I ate too late (7:30 pm): but, regardless, I was so discouraged that I broke down and cried. The whole thing reminded me why I can't get my hopes up and think that, just because I'm feeling normal for a few hours, I really am normal. Sometimes I get to thinking that my cautious (methodical) approach is a lazy of fearful approach. So I start thinking more boldly and Slam! reality hits me in the face and I am reminded that "I'm not running a race, I'm running a marathon."