Aug 27 (Day 32)

I shouldn't have eaten the tapioca pudding right before bed. That was a mistake. I felt "sloshy" and full all night. This morning I had about (150) 1/2 cup oatmeal with 1/2 cup yogurt. I still felt that sort of nauseated feeling but I just sucked it up and ignored it. Then around lunch time I had a (250) boost. I was burping a lot and felt even more "sloshy". I finally decided to go rest. As I did, I realized that I hadn't had a regelin (sp) pill all day. This past weekend, at the advise of my nurse, I had been taking it. That's probably why I was able to eat so much more. When I thought of this, I wasn't sure if I should actually be taking it when I'm going to have an upper GI test on Thursday. So I decided to go for a walk and see if I could "walk it off". But no luck. I just kept burping . . . .and feeling crummy. So I decided to take a pill when I got back. That was about a half hour ago so I'll have to go eat something. I do feel better, however. The problem with this is that I realized that I've been feeling better because I've been using a crutch. Anyway. .. .. I must admit that it does feel good to feel better. . . .

Aug 25-26 (Day 30-31)

Saturday's calorie count: (50) 3/4 cup cooked carrots, (250) baked potato with yogurt, (250) boost, can't remember the rest---rats! Sunday's calorie count: (200) banana and yogurt, (130) 1/2 avocado, (30) pretzels, (30) 1/2 cup cooked carrots, (225) small baked potato with yogurt and avocado, (160) 1/2 banana and yogurt, (70)1/2 cup cranberry juice, (180) 1 cup tapioca pudding Total=930 calories!!!!! Hooray!!! AND NO SICK!!!!!!!!!!

Aug 24 (Day 29)

I didn't feel good in the night. I felt pretty nauseated. I think maybe I ate too much. I took a pill about 6:30 am and it helped somewhat. It's hard to make myself eat when I feel like this because I know that if I wait a day I'll be feeling much better and if I eat I probably won't. Bad attitude, I know. Anyway, . . .so far today I've had (170)1 yoplait yogurt, and (90) 1 piece of white toast. Update: The remainder of the day I ate (130) 1 packet instant oatmeal, (200)2/3 jamba juice, and (70)1 small banana Total: 660 calories By the way. . . .I felt pretty sick most of the day. My nurse suggested that I not think about how much I ate yesterday and instead just concentrate on eating today. She thinks that I get worried and think too much and that it interferes with my ability to eat. I'm in a wait and see mode about this. Hopefully, after a few days of feeling crummy my body will get used to eating more and the nausea will go away.

Aug 23 (Day 28)

Thursday: (60) pudding cup, (105) 1 banana, (90) 1 cup skim milk, (38)1 peach, shapeway mix (120), 2/3 of a boost (165), squash soup (70), slice of toast (80), small yougurt (70), and 4 oz.prune juice (90)= 890 total Interestingly, I had terrible gas starting at about 12:00. Haven't had that since before the operation.. . .

Aug 17-19 (DAY 22-24)

This weekend was pretty crazy. Friday was Jamie's second birthday; Saturday was Ashley's big pool party (late b-day party for her and Jamie's party); Sunday Joanne's family, Steve's family, 3 hours of church . . . .First, Friday: Went to Happy Hollow with Jamie, Ashley, and Alysa. Rented a wheel chair to get from place to place. Had a good time--felt good to go on an adventure. Had no breakfast, 1 boost for lunch (250 calories), small yogurt (70) and 1/2 banana (50) and 4 oz. prune juice (90) for dinner=460 calories total on Friday. Saturday: I helped get stuff together for the party, did dishes, etc., went to party--active day. I had no breakfast, 1 boost (250) and 1/8 cup macaroni salad (80) for lunch, and small yogurt (70) and pretzels (25) for dinner=425 calories total on Saturday... Sunday: 1 large smoothie (250) for breakfast, l small yogurt(70), pretzels (30)for lunch, and 2 small cantaloupe wedges (40),1 small yogurt (70),for dinner=460 calories total on Sunday. LOOKS LIKE MY AVERAGE CALORIE INTAKE FOR THESE THREE DAYS WAS APPROX. 450 PER DAY.

Aug 16 (Day 18-21)

I haven't recorded anything for several days. Monday I went to the doctor. It was pretty discouraging. I thought I was doing pretty well; but he didn't think so. He basically told me that I had two weeks to get up to eating 1200 calories per day of balanced nutrition. That kind of scared me. He also told me that if there was a bell curve for recovery from this operation I would be "way over here" (pointing to the far left, in other words the flat line) and that he thought it would be a good idea to refer me to a GI doctor. He wants that dept. to know who I am and what my history is to that they can be prepared if this happens again. I guess that recovery tends to deteriorate with additional operations. Anyway, the whole thing made me pretty bummed out. But. . . he gave me a prescription that stimulates the stomach and upper intestines so that they move the food through faster. It's also an anti nausea medicine. I was a little afraid to take it after reading all of the warnings but my home nurse encouraged me and I'm glad I did. It helped me to be able to eat a lot more at a time without feeling sick. In fact, I kind of feel normal. I don't think I'm going to that the months of trying to eat and getting sick that I had last time. . . . Here's what I've eaten since Monday: Tuesday I had 1-1/2 cups smoothie made with 1 banana, Shapeway, and water for breakfast, 1 Yoplait yogurt for lunch, and 1 plain baked potato for dinner. Wednesday I had no breakfast, 1 Yoplait yogurt for lunch, and 3/4 cup cooked rice and 1/2 cup cooked peas for dinner. . . But I have not had a bowel movement since Sunday afternoon. Nothing but 3 tiny pieces (almost flecks) of stool. My left side aches. Last night I soaked in a hot bath and had Ashley give me a foot massage. Interestingly, the part of my foot that was the most tender was the area of my stomach. I don't know why that would be so. . . . [I wish I could figure out how to make this blog have paragraph breaks. It's so annoying]. .. . I'm discouraged. The real problem is that I'm tired of trying so hard. I just want to get on with my life. I know this is not a good way to be. That's why I knew I needed to write this morning. I have to figure out how I can get myself to work through this. I just want to wait it out... I keep thinking that because my side aches so much that my bowels are going to move soon on their own. Maybe they will. I probably should email my doctor and ask him if I should take a stool softener. But I don't want to. I dislike contacting doctors. I have an appointment with the GI doctor on Tuesday.. . .I hope I don't go back to being super constipated all the time. For some odd reason, my first abdominal surgery cured me of that. . . . Well, I better go have breakfast. To be completely honest, I don't want to. I'm kind of mad at myself because I should be super excited that I can eat without feeling nauseated. I just don't know what to do about no bowel movement. . . Maybe I'm not so bad after all. I keep thinking that maybe I'm a bad person and just don't want to get better so I'm finding something to be worried about. . . but I'm really just scared--scared that everything will get stuck inside me and scared that I'll get my hopes up and then I'll hit another wall. . . . Was it good to write all this down? I don't know. . .

Aug 12 (Day 17)

This morning I had 1/3 cup cranberry juice while taking a bath and getting dressed for church. After church I decided to have some ensure. I drank 1/4 cup in little sips very slowly. I felt nauseated but OK. Afternoon I had 2 bowel movements. I didn't have any "dinner". Ashley had some health problems that distracted me. I also didn't go for any walk today.

Aug 11 (Day 16)

Today I decided to try having my food (for lack of a better word) more like a meal. In other words, I would eat my jello and drink my 1/3 c. cranberry juice faster. The aim is to prepare myself for advancing my diet. I had the cranberry juice for "breakfast" (approx 20 min) and 1/2 cup jello for "lunch" (approx 20 min). About 2:00 I went to my parent's house to visit my sister and her family. While there, I had 2 bouts of diarrhea. This was good news because it verified to me that my bowels are working OK. I actually felt well most of the time I was there and thought, hmmmm....I wonder if I could just eat a bite of banana....Maybe I'm OK.." I decided I should stick with the plan so I stopped at Trader Joe's to pick up some chicken broth for "dinner". I poured my 1/2 cup into a little bowl so it would feel like a meal. I was excited because I thought I was going to be able to eat "normal". I had about 5 t. (about 1/3 of the bowl)and couldn't drink any more. I felt sick and overly full. I could have been because I ate too late (7:30 pm): but, regardless, I was so discouraged that I broke down and cried. The whole thing reminded me why I can't get my hopes up and think that, just because I'm feeling normal for a few hours, I really am normal. Sometimes I get to thinking that my cautious (methodical) approach is a lazy of fearful approach. So I start thinking more boldly and Slam! reality hits me in the face and I am reminded that "I'm not running a race, I'm running a marathon."

Aug 10 (Day 15)

This morning, about 11:00 am I was out in the backyard tending my grandson, Jamie, when all of a sudden I kind of exploded (in a good way). I went running to the bathroom (too late of course). I am very hopeful that this indicates that my bowels are fully awake. I think I may not need the treatements every night going forward. Usually I have to work really hard to move anything through me and this was more natural. My home nurse came to change my dressing for the PIC line and, while she was here I mentioned to her that I think there is a direct correlation between having the reflexology treatment on my feet in the evening and have a bowel movement the next day. I felt O.K. about sharing this with her because, on an earlier visit, she had noticed the foot chart that Mary Ann had brought me and said in a hushed tone, "You believe in that? . . .So do I." She was very interested in my observation and before she left she shared with me a trick that a friend had taught her in elementary school back in China. There is a place in the area between your thumb and forefinger on your right hand where, if you rub it hard, it will relieve your nausea. I tried it and it seems to work. Today I had 1/2 single Popsicle, 1/2 cup cranberry juice, and 1/3 cup of a meal replacement powder dissolved in water.

Aug 9 (Day 14)

Today I had 1/3 cup chicken broth and 3/4 of a serving of jello. I finished these by about 2:30 and didn't eat anything after that. It was kind of a strange day in that I would feel fine and then--bam--I feel nauseated. I couldn't figure out why. But Mary Ann came over in the evening and gave me a foot massage. There were a lot of tender places. My sense is that the reflexology treatments seem to do more to stimulate my intestines than anything else. Ashley gave me a treatment Wed evening and this morning I was able to clear my bowel. This is one thing that has been consistent. When I have the treatments I am able to clear my bowels the next day.

Aug 8 (Day 13)

I guess I'd better have some broth this morning. . . not looking forward to it because I'm not convinced that my gut is working. I can see that writing things down is good. It helps me to act when I need to. And it helps me to assess afterward. Today I sipped 2 T. chicken broth over 1-2 hour period. The nutritionist called to see how I was doing and suggested that I continue with 1/3 to 1/2 cup liquid per day and add Popsicles to my list of liquids. I had 1/2 single Popsicle for dinner. Stephanie suggest I try sucking on peppermint candy to relieve nausea. I tried it and it helped a lot. The relief lasted about 1/2 hour after I finished the mint. Overall, today was a good day.

Aug 6 (Day 11)

Today I was finally able to clear my bowel. It took a lot of work but I am very relieved. I left a message for my doctor about my progress (of lack of it). At 2:oo I had a few small ice cubes. They didn't seem to set well. I tasted them the rest of the day. In the evening, I ate 1/4 cup jello. It settled pretty well.

Aug 5 (Day 10)

Last night I didn't feel to good when I went to bed. When I woke up in the night I realized that I'd been so busy the day before I had forgotten to do my pushing exercises. I pretend that I'm having a baby and I push with everything I've got. It helps to move the gases the right direction. This morning I finally had a bowel movement. I discovered that I was constipated. I think this was due to the fact that last Thursday I took several anti nausea pills (when I tried doing what the Kaiser pharmacist had suggested). I had never taken more than one per day before this. I went to church for 1 hour and came home and rested. I thought I would not have any nausea today; but I actually do. Mary Ann came over and did reflexology on my feet. She hasn't come since last Wednesday. She had been coming every day and I noticed that I haven't had as much success moving things through me since she stopped coming. Hopefully, I can clear my system tomorrow. I am very glad that I followed the impression I had to not take in anything by mouth. I don't think my system could have handled any more.

Aug 4 (Day 9)

Last night while I was lying awake praying for inspiration about what I should do I had several impressions. I don't know for certain if they are spiritual impressions but I had decided to go forward as a witness to God that I am trying to follow His direction. The first one is that I should not take anything by mouth for two days. The second impression is that I should call my doctor on Monday. (This was hard for me to commit to because I have a strong aversion to calling doctors.) The final impression came to me in the form of the following scripture: "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy paths." At first I thought, "I am trusting in you". But then I thought about how many times I keep asking for the same thing(i.e. one of those "I believe. Help thou my unbelief" times). I started trying to move the gas downward while repeating the verses from Proverbs over in my mind. After a while the end of the verse changed to "He will direct the path." I was successful in passing some gas. Today I felt the best I have felt. I took nothing by mouth. I was able to help clean the house, go with Alysa to do some grocery shopping (It was fun to be able to be a mom again) , and go on several long walks (one the farthest I have gone yet). I believe that the impression to not take anything by mouth was inspired. It may just be because I needed a good day. It was encouraging to feel normal (not nauseated).

Aug 3 (Day 8)

When I was on my walk this morning, I mentioned to Kathleen that I had discovered that it didn't seem to affect my nausea whether I ate late in the day or not. I tried both ways and I still got nauseated in the late evening. I think it may be similar to what babies experience when they have their "fussy time" in the evening. Kathleen suggested that I try taking "gripe-water", which is an herbal liquid that you give colicky babies. I thought that was a great idea! I tried taking 2 t. at a time and I had relief from the nausea for about 1 1/2 hours. After two doses I decided that I shouldn't take anymore because I think I am taking in too much liquid. I also sipped 1/3 cup Boost over a several hour period. I spoke with my home nurse this morning and asked about why I feel the way I do. She said that the gases produced bymy digestive tract are coming up instead of going down. That is what makes the awful burping and gives me the feeling I swallowed a bunch of liquid dish detergent. I am a bit worried because almost all of the gas is coming up rather than going down. I think I may have overloaded my system. . .

Aug 2 (Day 7)

Very hard day. I woke up feeling great. I'd had several dreams where things were better than I thought and felt like it was a message that my decision to advance my diet to full liquid was a good one. I felt strong on my morning walk with Kathleen, took an anti-nausea pill and began sipping some Boost about 10:00 a.m. After about 1/2 hour I got very nauseated and had several bouts of diarrhea. I had to take a second pill 6 hours later because I couldn't shake the nausea on my own. I had to ride in the car for 2 hours which didn't help. In the evening, I had Ashley give me a long reflexology foot message which helped relieve my nausea.

July 31 (Day 5)

I advanced to homemade chicken broth that had vegetables boiled in the water and removed. I got pretty nauseated but drank 1/2 cup. I noticed that the nausea subsides after I have a bowel movement.

July 29-30 (Day 3-4)

I took in 3/4 cup liquid by 1 teasponfuls. Didn't eat after 4:30 but still got nauseated at night. Decided the nausea wasn't related to eating late. Maybe what I have is what babies have when they are fussy in the evenings? I think it is caused because of the volume that has been ingested throughout the day.

July 27-28 (Day 1-2)

Note* I can't figure out how to make paragraphs so I am going to make separate post for each entry. I was able to get down about 1/2 cup cranberry juice or jello, taking it in by 1/2 teasponfuls. Had nausea in the evening. Decided not to eat after 5:00.

____________________________________________________________________________________ Exactly one month ago I went to Kaiser Hospital in terrible pain. I'd had had a wonderful walk around our neighborhood the evening before and come home to one of my daughter's extra yummy desserts. About a half hour after eating it I got a stomach ache. As the night went on it got worse and worse. I threw up several times but had no relief. By about 2:00 A.M I realized what was wrong. I had an intestinal blockage, again. My husband rushed me to the hospital where I practically begged the emergency nurse to put the NG [nasal/gastrointestinal] tube down me. It's strange how, when a person is in extreme pain, they tend to lose their fear of unpleasant treatments. The desire for relief supersedes everything else. I say that because I hate the NG tube. Sometimes I get scared when they put it down because I'm afraid I'll throw up while they are inserting it. The worst part, however, is the terrible ear ache and sore throat that doesn't go away until it is removed. (I have a small throat.) But it's better than throwing up constantly--believe me. Projectile vomiting is the pits. Anyway . . . . why am I writing all of this? Well, I guess it's just a bit of background about why I am starting this blog. I had my second operation to remove adhesions in my intestines four weeks ago. Everything went O.K. this time; but, recovery has been very hard. I tried to take nourishment by mouth and ended up back in the hospital (NG tube again). So, my doctor decided to send me home with TPN (liquid nutrition that goes directly in my vein)so I could slow down the reintroduction of food. A week after I got home, I started clear liquid. It's pretty clear that it's going to be a long, hard journey. Yesterday my husband suggested that I start a journal to record my progress. I have found over the years that writing things down helps me to quantify my progress and recognize that reoccurring patterns in my life. I woke up in the night feeling pretty nauseated and decided to start writing instead of wasting time on the internet. (Sitting up helps.) ________________________________________________________________________________ I will try to keep a record of my progress. I try very hard not to get discouraged. But sometimes I just start crying. I called the blog neonancy because my initials are NEO and learning to eat again is like being a baby all over. When you think about it, what is a baby's job? To eat, and burp, and poop. And what is colic, really? It's just a baby's body trying to figure out what to do with food. Their intestines and tummies are trying to learn their jobs and sometimes it takes a while.